美国情人

虽然在上映时间上，Mistress America比Lady Bird要早了3年，但看过这两部电影的人都不难发现二者的一脉相承——Lady Bird以Christine离开故乡到纽约上大学为结局，Mistress America则承接了这个尾声，以异乡姑娘Tracy成为纽约一所大学的新生为开端。

那么，远离家乡、在大城市独立生活的伯德小姐，实现了她的文艺梦想，过上了时尚杂志或文学小说里的精彩生活了吗？

Mistress America有一个非常精彩的片头，用蒙太奇的方式展示了Tracy在新生生活中的种种尴尬。咄咄逼人的室友，忘记自己的名字的新同学，兴致勃勃地想去迎新晚会social却遭到冷嘲热讽。学业进展也不顺利。努力写的作业只拿了平庸的成绩，于是越来越缺乏学习的动力。修读了喜爱的文学专业，课程却百般无聊，还得忍受无知的同学自以为是的发言。没有存在感，也没有成就感，大学生活就像一个喧闹的派对，Tracy身在其中，却倍感疏离。

转机从Tracy的一段若有若无的罗曼史开始。她与同样被文学社“退货”的男同学惺惺相惜，读彼此的小说，交换意见。这段近乎灵魂伴侣的暧昧点亮了Tracy黯淡的大学生活。她变得热情、积极，从未如此投入和享受校园时光。可惜好景不长，男同学移情别恋，她的生活、精神状态又再次跌入谷底。

从影片的前段，我们不难发现，Tracy上大学以后面对的第一个大困难就是如何在新城市建立自己的新生活，换言之，学会独立。“独立”并不仅仅指“自我照料”，学会洗衣服、换床套这么简单，而是指独自开展生活的能力，这包括能否在新的环境里建立新的人际关系、建立新的情感支持体系，能否找到自己的精神支柱，能否为自己的生活创造意义。影片多次暗示Tracy是一个被家庭保护得很好的孩子，感情不和的父母苦苦支撑到她成年以后才离婚，在超市里分不清意粉的种类。而纽约就像一片汪洋，Tracy在水力奋力挣扎，如果她学会游泳，就能探索其中的五光十色；如果学不会游泳，便被寂寞和孤独所淹没。

于是Tracy开启了第三次“纽约新生活工程”——结识即将成为她“继姐”的Brook。Brook（Greta Gerwig饰演）的父亲即将与Tracy的母亲结婚，她年近30，在纽约过得风生水起。她的登场亮相相当具有象征的意味：从时报广场中央的TKTS售票亭上鲜艳夺目的红色楼梯款款而下，穿着白色大衣和黑西裤，脸上带着精致的妆容，热烈而亲切地呼喊着Tracy：“欢迎来到星光璀璨的百老汇！”自信的神情，张开的双臂，豪迈的步伐，她仿佛承包了整片时报广场，以女主人的姿态正在开门迎客。（她确实住在时报广场，非常浮夸的住址。）她以大姐大的姿态带着不谙世事的小妹Tracy经历了一个典型的纽约文艺夜：看live house、泡酒吧、直到午夜的派对。之后，Tracy是这么形容Brook的：

“跟她在一起，就像身处纽约市。她让你想要找到自己的生活，而不是逃避。”

在Brook身上，Tracy找到了生活的热情，她喜欢和Brook待在一起，喜欢通过她的眼睛去认识纽约。Brook热闹、戏剧性的生活刺激了Tracy的创作。她记下Brook的金句，用在小说当中，写出了从未有过的鲜活人物。她享受喷涌而出的灵感，主动卷入Brook的生活，鼓励后者一步一步地往脱线的方向走。Brook梦想在纽约开一家独一无二的餐厅，每个顾客可在其中感受家一般的温馨。即将开张之际遭遇现男友撤资，在Tracy的怂恿下她决定长途跋涉去康州，问多年未联系的土豪前男友要钱。Tracy盘算着，这场闹剧将会是绝好的创作素材。

遭遇文学社退稿以后，Tracy对自己的创作能力产生了怀疑。Brook的出现激发了她的写作欲望，使她一度重拾信心，误以为自己是一个有创造力的人。然而实际上真正有创造力的是Brook，她用她的梦想、能量、雄心壮志织造了自己疯狂而迷人的纽约客生活。她不依附于任何人，无视旁人目光，有主见，有创意，不服输也不害怕失败，富有好奇心和冒险精神。她找到生活的动力并为之全力以赴，是个真正的浪漫主义者，独立而精彩。她对生活的热情，被Tracy盗用为写作素材，刻薄地冷嘲热讽。但这种热情，却正是支撑着Tracy在他乡精神抖擞地过日子的能量。Tracy觉得Brook觉察不到自己身上注定失败气质很可怜，而Brook则反讽Tracy需要依赖别人的生活才更可悲。

纵观Tracy三次“纽约新生活工程”的尝试，后两次她都明显地把生活的意义放在了他人的身上。有恋爱可谈，生活就是趣味盎然的；有新朋友带着玩，生活就是活力满满的。当她得偿所愿加入学校最著名的文学社时，依然闷闷不乐。她去请教灵媒，对方告诉她，你需要找到内心的归宿——向内，而非向外，找到生活的热情和能量。于是第一次地，她做了这段时间里唯一有创造力和生命力的事——退出了名气虽大但理念向左的旧文学社，创立自己的新文学社。她不再纠结于合群，也不寄望于依赖他人，她决定以自己的力量影响别人。她从索取，变成了给予。

电影最后，她与Brook和解，也学会了欣赏Brook身上最迷人的地方，不是看似闹剧一般的疯疯癫癫生活，而是永远不被生活打败的勇气和永远不被浇灭的热情和信念。他人是火柴，而她是篝火。浪漫主义者燃烧自己成为别人的精神偶像。

愿Tracy，愿我们，能收获，能给予；能自立，能自足，终得自由。

“美国情人”是什么鬼，那么酷的女主角当然是“美国女主人”啊！

“Meadow DeRiggi lived exactly how a young woman should live who wants to spend her youth well. She did everything and nothing and spent time like I always mean to: purposefully. She sang with the band and knew everyone and didn’t owe anyone anything. And couldn’t pay up, even if she did. Her beauty was that rare kind that made you want to look more like yourself and not like her. Being around Meadow was like being in New York City. It made you want to find life, not hide from it.

I remember looking across the river at the unblinking lights of Manhattan buildings, wondering who lived there. I just wanted to enter those spaces and crawl up on the floor and go to sleep. I was part of it now. On the fifth floor, in a temporary commercial apartment. There was our castle, our fortress. But outside the windows, I could hear the hot sound of jackhammers taking the city apart. In New York, neighborhoods change as quickly as the weather. Or maybe it’s the other way around. But I couldn’t warn Meadow. By the time I noticed it, it was already too late.

The very things that had worked so well for Meadow, up until then had started turning and fading. She had no other skills, no other way of dealing with the world. In one instant her behaviors turned from charming to borderline hysteric. People could feel her failure coming. She smelled of something rotten. Her youth had died and she was dragging around the decaying carcass.

It was clear that the thing that Meadow wanted most in the world, the thing that she wanted to define her, to give her a place to put her time and talents, her everything – the restaurant (It would have big heavy tables and chairs. It would feel like the home everyone wishes they had been raised in. No one who comes there will want to take out their cellphones because it won’t feel that way. It would be like taking your cellphone out in the woods. Totally wrong. It will always feel like fall inside, even on hot summer nights with all the windows open. Loaves of bread that people tear off pieces. It would be the kind of place where at 2:00 am the chef and the waitstaff would come out and eat something simple they had fixed themselves with the remaining guests and open a bottle of good wine. And if she ever had kids, they would walk there after school and do their homework in a corner table.) – it was clear that it would never happen. The most surprising thing was that Meadow was actually surprised by it. She could see the whole world with painful accuracy but couldn’t see herself or her fate.

I am so impressed by her and so worried for her at the same time. She seemed so cool, so totally amazing, I didn’t think it would be possible to hurt her.

She thinks she’s sick, and she doesn’t know if her ailment has a name. It’s just her sitting and staring at the Internet or the television for long periods of time interspersed by trying to not do that and then lying about what she’s been doing. Then she’ll get so excited about something that the excitement overwhelms her and she can’t sleep or do anything. And she is just in love with everything but can’t figure out how to make herself work in the world.

It will be hard for me not to look at New York and think of her somewhere in it.

Meadow had made rich fat women less fat and rich stupid kids less stupid and lame rich men less lame. And she wanted so badly to be on the other side – to be fat and stupid and lame and rich. But what she couldn’t see most of all, more than she couldn’t see that she was never going to get the restaurant, was that those people were nothing compared to her. They were matches to her bonfire.

She was the last cowboy, all romance and failure.

The world was changing, and her kind didn’t have anywhere to go. Being a beacon of hope for lesser people is a lonely business.”